Why I Don't Crochet

I shouldn't even be writing this. I decided to take up amirugumi crochet. I've been working on a Princess Leia doll all night. It's not turning out very good but it's my first try. However, after a few hours of this my wrist is juuuuust about ready to fall off. It hurts to type. Somebody just cut my arm off so I can sleep please. At least with knitting it balances between my arms and just causes the occasional tingle. This is full on like when I broke my wrist.

Socks!

So I decided to finally bite the bullet a few days ago and make my first pair of socks. I cast off the first one yesterday and that's when I realized I wasn't making socks. I was actually making slippers for my step-mom. See, my sock slipper's cast on was waaay too loose. Note to self: US size 5s are just a smidge too big to be used as a cast on base for a sock slipper made on size 2 needles. Also, if your gauge is off by about 1/8th of an inch you can probably just keep knitting like you normally would. No need to your stitches so loose that the opening ribbing will fall off your ankle. Unless of course, you're knitting slippers for a step-mother who has high blood pressure which causes her ankles to swell up. In that case, feel free to disregard what I just wrote.

Maybe once I finish this pair of socks slippers, I'll make myself a pair that's actually cast on properly and that fits. Maybe.

Afghans

I want to make a blanket. I have no idea what I want it to look like beyond I'd like it to look cool. I don't know if I want to knit or crochet it. I'm leaning towards something patchwork so I can carry it around. I know I know I know. If I'm going to be doing a patchwork afghan I should totally start crocheting my granny squares again instead of resigning myself to having plush, fuzzy coasters. But it takes a lot of yarn to do those and I can't carry them around easily. So I guess that means I should reball them but I haaate doing that because it means I have to spend a few hours holding an empty water bottle and winding yarn.

So, before I resign myself to a lifetime of granny squares and crochet hooks, are there any suggestions for a nice knitted afghan I could work on? One thing I am considering is making a memory afghan. Whenever something happens I'll knit myself a square commemorating it. But that would be a more long term project than what I'm looking at. So maybe my granny squares and the patchwork at the same time? And when am I ever going to do my socks? Actually, I'm going to do my socks at work (I have a new job as a receptionist and it is AWESOME!) as soon as I finish my mother's birthday scarf or run out of yarn for it and have to go buy more. Stay tuned, same bat time, same bat channel!

Abbr when k

Here's the thing, I have no idea why people on the interwebz use abbreviations when writing knitting patterns. I can understand why it's a good idea (or at least a necessary evil) in print work such as a magazine since they have a limited space to include the maximum amount of patterns and every extra bit of text causes more space and that means extra money.

So I can appreciate the necessity of telling someone to k1p1 w/ 12 rep until 4in then k2tog, turn, rep until * in a magazine. I can even accept it in a book. But on the internet? Let's face it, all the text in this blog so far? Probably hasn't even gotten as far as 10MB worth of storage space. Plus this blog, like so many others is hosted for free. I don't pay a damn penny to do this. Even if I did pay for the space, the effect of writing "knit 2 together" instead of "k2tog" or "k1p1" instead of "work in a 1 by 1 rib" is negligible.

Trust me, I've hosted websites before. You could do an almost infinite amount of text before you really started to run out of anything. It's the images that will screw you over and most blogs aren't shy about them (I'll be hosting images as soon as I either find the camera that has batteries or buy batteries for the camera that does not have them). So why do we persist in using the insane abbreviations in a limitless medium? I can't figure it out. Is it just the force of habit? Is it that we see patterns written that way in magazines and other print sources and assume that's how we're supposed to see them elsewhere?

I do not have the answers necessary for those questions, but I am going to make a conscious effort from now on to write in a legible fashion when posting patterns. For one thing, I have to because I think I knit backwards as a result of my left handedness, so when I k you should p and so on and so forth. It's much easier to say "cable on every 6th row and bobble on every 12th" as opposed to trying to figure out what I'm doing and what you should be doing to replicate it.

My Knitting Confessions

So here's the thing, if I were to make a list of my knitting skills, I have a lot.

No really, it's true! Think about it, I can:
-Knit
-Purl
-Cable
-Increase
-Decrease
-Make bobbles
-Knit in the round
-Use DPNs
-Write patterns
-Design garments
-Knit over 500 rows of garter stitch without attempting to stab myself (on that note, I'm over 50% done with the Doctor Who Scarf!)
-Read patterns
-Make ribbing
-"Get" gauge
-Take gauge
-Pick up stitches
-Rescue dropped stitches
-Join wool without tying or weaving in ends
-Sew on decorations
-Crochet two pieces together
-Block
-Knit and purl backwards (in pattern!)
-Knit with two different colors of yarn so that one side of the item is patterned one way and the other side has the opposite color scheme

And well, you get the idea. Don't get me wrong, there are still lots of things I'd like to learn to do. For one thing, I'm hoping to get up the balls to make a pair of socks this week. It's mostly the heel-turning that's flustering me, plus the fact that I don't know how much yarn I'll need to cover my feet. If I were being totally honest, it would be the yarn more than anything. I'd also like to make a wedding ring shawl before I get married, but first I need to master the finer points of lace. I am okay with that. I think learning things makes us grow as people. But if I were being really really honest, there is one thing I can't do that I'd desperately like to do and that I am bothered by not knowing:
Which stitch is knit and which is purl.

Don't get me wrong, I can perform both. I can perform both in a pattern. I can do both backwards and forwards! But I can never remember which one is which. Whenever I am reading a pattern, I have to grab one of my knitting books (lately it's been Knitting Without Tears by Maggie Righetti, primarily because I haven't finished it so it's sitting next to my bed...plus it's illustrated) and go back and read the section where either knitting or purling is described. Immediately afterwards, I forget which is which and only remember what the stitch for the pattern is. This is an absolutely idiotic failing on my part. Who can't keep two simple little stitches straight?! I'm doing a scarf for my mother right now that involves cabling every six rows and bobbling every 12 rows and I don't even need to use a row counter! But I still for the life of me cannot remember whether the forward stitch is knit or the backward one.

That is my True Knitting Confession. What's yours?

Yarn stores and such

So here's the thing, sometimes I get bored. I know I know, shocking, right? Anyway, when I get bored I knit. Well, usually I knit just in general. But when I'm bored I do it more. When I first moved to Texas, I was bored a lot. So I taught my step-siblings to knit. All three of them. The oldest boy and the girl got bored and quit pretty soon, but the 9 year old boy took a real shining to it. I had assumed he'd get bored soonish, so I had just given him a cheap red acrylic I had on hand. Well, he kept at it. Every time he was here since the first day he just kept on at it. I finally took him to the LYS. Primarily because once he found out it existed, he begged for a week. He had a great time. There were a few moments in time where I probably could have traded him for a nice sweater. I was sorely tempted.

He was actually the only child I saw there who was actually knitting. There was another little boy who was picking out yarn for a hat, but my step-brother was the only one who was actually sitting and knitting and looking at patterns he could make. He also helped me pick out yarn for my mother's birthday present. So I came up with a pretty cool scarf pattern I'll be posting as soon as my camera is working again. It's a scarf, because my mother actually went to Denver last week and didn't bring any winter clothes at all. She's brilliant.

Knitting in public

Alright, I'm going to come out here as being a public knitter. I knit in public. At the doctor's office, in line at the bank, in the middle of the grocery store, I knit wherever and whenever. I banged out a huge stripe on the Doctor Who Scarf in the middle of the new Batman movie. Now, I know a lot of people don't KIP because they get worried people will stare. I'm here to tell you that people DO stare. But usually, they ask you what you're making. Occasionally, someone will ask you if that's crochet (yeah, I don't know. I guess they pick the more obscure term because they think it will make them sound smarter?). Once in a waiting room I had a woman come across and sit next to me to watch what I was doing. In general, though, most people don't seem to notice. There are starers but if you make eye contact they'll either ask a question or stop staring for awhile. My former GP used to tell me stories about friends who knit whenever I'd come in.

I think it's odd that my experiences with the noble act of public knitting vary so far from the accounts I've read online and in books about knitting. In the book Stitch n Bitch (excellent and you should read it right now) the author says she's stared at like she was "churning butter on the midtown bus." The Yarn Harlot had a woman insist she was crocheting and after being corrected the woman insisted she knew the difference. I wonder if perhaps the fact that until recently I lived in a small conservative town (I have recently moved to another small conservative town but I digress). I do wonder why it might be and if knitting's exposure has really been increased so much in recent years or what. Maybe when I'm less tired I'll really examine that.

VICTORY IS MINE!!!

I finished the test knit bonnet I was working on! All roads clear and I did pretty much the entire thing by the pattern. I only changed two things: the junction of the attached i-cord border was supposed to be tied together and I thought that was too froo-froo so I did a kitchner stitch to create what WOULD have been an invisible border if I hadn't made the border a hair too long but it's really just a bump now and nothing you'd notice if you weren't me. I also changed the ties and I don't feel guilty AT ALL. The ties were basically 14 inches of garter stitch. I replaced them with 14 inches of i-cord. Oh and I moved the location of the flower decoration, but that part was largely subjective anyway so SCREW YOU!

I'm sorry, I got away from myself there. I've been working on this thing for 3 days and it's full of fiddly bits and short rows and things I didn't know how to do when I got the pattern and I'm tired because I've been staying up late working on it (hence why I'm STILL awake at 9 am). It was a very nice little diversion from the ungodly amount of garter stitch I'm doing on the scarf (which, in hindsight, may be why I was so hot to change the ties on the bonnet).

But it's DONE and now I feel better about going back to the Doctor Who scarf soon and back to the mindlessness. This was a pleasant little interlude even if I don't know when I'll ever wear it. Maybe when I go home for the holidays I'll find an occasion. Or if I manage to make a trip to Portland. But it's done! Done done done! Woooo...*sleeeeep*

Confessions of a Mad Modifier

I'm officially a chronic pattern changer. There is no pattern that I've found that I've not felt would be a whole lot better if I completely redid at least one aspect of it. I once found a sweater at a store that I liked and decided I wanted to replicate. Except I wanted the yarn in a thinner weight, no sleeves, no hood, a different length, a completely different stitch pattern except for some detail work, a different border type, a different type of closure, and a different color. So basically all I really liked was a cable and hole pattern that was on the top of the chest and back and on the two hip pockets. And I'm not even sure I want the pattern on the back.

I'm having to cure this particular urge while doing my test knit. "Well, I like the bonnet but I think I'd rather have a different edging...no! Bad! Checking for errors means doing the pattern as written! Bad!"

This could prove interesting. On the upside, the main portion is done. I just have to knit the border, the straps, and a little flower. I do think I'll skip the little bow at the back though...

Learning

So here's the thing, since I was largely self-taught in the knitting department (beyond "this is how you knit and this is how you purl") anyway, I have very little experience following patterns or doing things that weren't made up by me. I basically spent 3 years making scarves. As a result of this, I'm not exactly the best pattern reader the world has ever seen. I understand the abbreviations and when I don't I know where to find help with the terms, but largely I'm not the person you want making you that extremely complicated cable cardigan (or really ANY cardigan or other variety of sweater). So where to go with this? I'm going to learn. And you're going to watch me!

Right now, I'm working on a test knit for someone. As soon as that is done I'm going to make socks! I found some nice toe-up patterns until I learn how much yarn I need for myself at which point I'll try some of the cuff down variety. After that, I'm going to try some lace. That's the big one. I've always wanted to make lace but never had the cajones to try. Well, that's about to change my friends! At some point, I really want to make a lace stole to wear when I get married. Sooner or later, I'll end up making myself a sweater too. But this entry is boring and needs more boobs, so I'll stop now.

Bad Dreams

So I had a nightmare last night that woke me up at 2 am and kept me awake until 10. The nightmare? Terminators were coming to kill me and I had to get to my car and escape but I kept going back in the house to get my yarn and I didn't make it out before he showed up to kill me.

That really says something about me as a person, but I'd much rather think about making socks than try to figure out when I became the kind of person who has dreams where they die because of all their knitting crap.

Friday Project Rundown

Alright, I think on Fridays I'm going to do a rundown of all the projects I currently have cast on and how well they're going. Mostly because I can't think of anything else to say right now and I feel like blogging. Yay path of least resistance!

The Doctor Who Scarf
It is currently running 5 feet and 1 inch long and is approximately 46% finished. That is the equivalent of this:
Click for clickage

The "Pauline" Test Knit
I'm test knitting a bonnet for a friend's contest entry. The gauge has been attempted and I'm close enough to it to go ahead.

The Vicious Gnauga Bag
I am so not looking forward to redoing the teeth on this sucker. It takes several hours and makes me want to kill things. I am tempted to just get wicked drunk and see if that makes it go faster, or else to take it to the yarn store on Saturday and try to socialize through the pain.

The Vicious Gnauga Bag-Hat
A hat I'm making for a friend to look like the vicious gnauga bag and using the left over yarn. Now that said-friend has finally given me his proper head measurements once I realized that 31 inches was probably a result of him messing up with a measuring tape. We are now much happier at 24 inches as it will no longer fit as a tube top.

So, what's all this about then?

I first learned to knit when I was in elementary school. My grandmother taught my cousin and I about the same time. I had the common beginners issue that I knit far too tight, I dropped stitches, and could never figure out how to do stockinette (on purpose). I knit about 3 rows before deciding enough was enough and calling it quits. In fact, I didn't pick up a pair of needles once between the ages of 11 and 17. The tell-tale sign, though, was that I still loved yarn. When we would go to Wal-Mart, I could spend aaaaaages in the craft section looking at all the pretty fabrics and beads and....yarn. Just feeling it and looking at the colors.

When I was in high school, there was a brief fad towards knitting and so I went out and bought myself a skein of tacky acrylic pastel rainbow colored sport weight and a set of circulars. First, I only half remembered how to cast on and the only method I could remember left a long tail of yarn after I knit a row. Second, I couldn't make my circulars make a circle. I can't really explain how or why this happened, but I ended up with basically a strip of fabric with a single strand of yarn connecting one end to the other and I couldn't make the two ends come together to save myself. I also couldn't remember how to cast off, so I just threaded the end of the yarn through my loops and called it quits.

Finally, my senior year, I fell in with some freshman goth girls during a clothing design class. One of them knit scarves constantly. Suddenly, it clicked. I went out and bought myself a skein of fuzzy black yarn, a pair of size 9s, and I made myself a fantastically long garter stitch scarf. I loved it. It had finally clicked. That year, I made a second scarf of a similar length out of a pink striped baby yarn. Next year, I went to college and made a drop stitch chenille scarf and joined the knitting club. That's when I finally learned to crochet. When I left that school, I found myself floundering a bit and I no longer had any classes to knit in so I stopped for awhile. At the time, all my yarn and needles fit into a large tote bag someone had gotten as a Free Gift with Purchase from Clinique.

Last summer, I was referred to Ravelry and suddenly I became the girl who has an organizer hanging in her closet to hold the yarns, complains about how most commercial knitting bags scream "Grandma Sylvia's Bingo Knit Night" and only buys knitting magazines. I carefully put all my yarn in ziploc baggies with their weight and fiber content written on the front. I started my first projects based on patterns I didn't make up.

I have finally arrived.